Joke of the day !

[natty]

First Guy (proudly): My wife's an angel!
Second Guy:.You're lucky, mine's still alive.

[Noise]

A lorry driver was driving along on a country road.

A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.'

Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.

Cars are backed up for miles.

Finally, a police car comes up.

The policeman got out of his car and walked to the lorry's cab

And said to the driver,

'Got stuck, eh?'

The lorry driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of petrol!'

[Noise]

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a
particularly icy winter.

They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon
20 years before.

Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their
travel schedules.

So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday, and his
wife was flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a
computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and
without noticing his error, sent the email to the wrong address.

Meanwhile ....somewhere in Houston ....a widow had just returned home
from her husband's funeral.
He was a Minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart
attack.

The widow decided to check her email, expecting messages from relatives
and friends.

After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted! The
widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and
then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Date: Friday, October 13, 2004
Subject: I have Arrived!

Dearest Love:
I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now,
and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I have just
arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been
prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then.
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
PS ....... Sure is hot down here!!

[percydaman]

So the masochist says to the sadist: "Please beat me..." And the sadist says: "No..."

[Raytonium]

Do you like fishsticks?

[tom182]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day , all the patients were shouting 13, 13, 13.... The fence was too high to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked thru to see what was going on.
Some fu^&er poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting 14, 14, 14,


T

[percydaman]

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day , all the patients were shouting 13, 13, 13.... The fence was too high to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks and looked thru to see what was going on.
Some fu^&er poked me in the eye with a stick, then they all started shouting 14, 14, 14,


T

I LOL'd

[natty]

I LOL'd

Me too, lol .. very funny.

[natty]

[JeffG2]

Romanian joke:

Q: What's big, black, noisy, makes a lot of smoke and cuts carrots in five pieces?

A: The Romanian machine for cutting carrots in four pieces.

[stevesideas]

A man and his wife are playing a round of golf. Suddenly a golf ball comes flying over the verge and hits his wife on the head. The man rushes over to the 19th hole and tells the barman what happened. The barman asks, "where abouts did she get hit?". The man says, "in between the 1st and 2nd hole", to which the barman replies, "that doesnt leave much room for a bandage!"

[zoranm]

A man and his wife are playing a round of golf. Suddenly a golf ball comes flying over the verge and hits his wife on the head. The man rushes over to the 19th hole and tells the barman what happened. The barman asks, "where abouts did she get hit?". The man says, "in between the 1st and 2nd hole", to which the barman replies, "that doesnt leave much room for a bandage!"

LOL

[palibebeh]

Do you like fishsticks?

I don't get it.





I'm a motherf***in' lyrical wordsmith motherf***in' genius...

...but i don't get it.


( )