Vray light exclude doesn´t affect Specular.
Can you show an image for this? Are you sure you are not just getting a reflection of the light, and not an actual highlight? If this is the case, simply disable the “trace reflections” option for the material.
Best regards,
Vlado
Hm, maybe it was a reflection of the light. I didn´t there was a difference between highlight and reflection with vray.