Minn-u

[glorybound]

Howdy,

I'll be speaking at a local Autodesk workshop, and one of my slides will be those funny things we hear from clients. So, do you have any you can share? I remember us listing some, but I couldn't find it.

•Why is the color different here, than there? (same color, only in shadow)
•Can you do this rendering free? It’ll be a good promotional piece for you.
•Rendering’s easy, because the computer does all the work.
•You create such great renderings–you must have a great computer.
•Can’t you just Photoshop that?
•Your renderings are awesome! What software do you use?
•Show us how you made it, so we can do it ourselves in-house, from now on.
•We do our own renderings, but thanks! (show a very bad rendering)

[glorybound]

and no, mine will not be an example of a very bad rendering!

http://www.minn-u.com/

[Pixelcon]

I think there was a thread on cgarchitect with a lot of insane client stories. Have a dig around there... it was full of good stories.

[glorybound]

I will check, thanks.

[Bruce Hart]

Well if it's client stories you want there's always http://clientsfromhell.net/
not 3D specific but more graphic design/web orientated... still very applicable to us guys though

While I think of it - how many times have you heard someone say... "but can't you just tell the computer to ...blah, blah blah"
and another: ..."we'll be flying by the seat of our pants on this one". Architects code for "I haven't actually done any design and I want you to make it up for me..."

[Raven]

These are 2 gems I had years ago from 2 of my clients.

We are not sure on the details yet, but can you quote us anyway.
and
e are not sure what we want yet, but can't you just get started now, that way it will go quicker.

[alexyork]

It's Friday. Why not.

- here are some last-minute changes that will require a full re-render of whole image and lots of post-work. Can you make sure you have this ready for us by end of play today?

- can you please quote for a 2 minute animation. we don't know how many shots we want and we can't show you plans yet.

- just a couple (10) of minor (major) tweaks (fundamental design changes)...

- we need it completed by Friday. We'll give you feedback in 4 days' time so you've got plenty of time to finish it.

- the deadline is next week! the deadline is next week! quick!... (one week later after sweating buckets to get it done on time)... oh, you know how things work sometimes - looks like we've got another week or two, now.

- we want you to come up with your own interpretation of the design. we're giving you that creative freedom.

- we can't pay you until our client has paid us, that's how it works.

- our mark-ups (totally illegible childish squiggles scrawled on a photocopy in black and white, rescanned in at low resolution and then converted into a low-res PDF with the edges of the pages cropped off so you can't read half of the squiggles) should have been clear.

[joconnell]

The best one I've ever heard which was in a vfx context for a uk station called channel 4. They had a large 3d rendered 4 at the end of one of their station idents and the director asked the 3d guys to render it with a mirror material, so that when people watched it on TV they'd see their faces reflected in it.

[glorybound]

seriously? That hilarious!

The best one I've ever heard which was in a vfx context for a uk station called channel 4. They had a large 3d rendered 4 at the end of one of their station idents and the director asked the 3d guys to render it with a mirror material, so that when people watched it on TV they'd see their faces reflected in it.

[glorybound]

we can't pay you until our client has paid us, that's how it works.

Great one! I get it all the time.

[glorybound]

"we'll be flying by the seat of our pants on this one". Architects code for "I haven't actually done any design and I want you to make it up for me..."

So, that's what that means . So, they want free design services, too.

[glorybound]

My favorite is:

Change this, and change that... (example: move the sun behind the camera so all the materials are the same). And, after bastardizing the image your feedback is, "Why doesn’t my image look as good as your others?"

[cheerioboy]

I have trouble with that sometimes I'm given a simple piece of furniture to model and it's done quickly and rendered into the scene - co-workers exclaim, 'you're fast!' - then they give me a crazy crystal chandelier and except the same amount of time..

same thing happens with just doing quick photoshop mock ups - sometimes it'll be a photo of the object on a white background at the perfect angle to drop into a view - other times it's something that's a mess - it's always hard to gauge the time it'll take.

Oh and one last thing, one co-worker loves to give me photoshop work since 'I'm so fast' - I replaced materials on a bed in a photo, sent it to her - and then she responded with wanting to remove some pillows and shift others around... I was like, are you kidding me... almost had to do it all over with new selection sets after fixing the other parts.

/rant off

[glorybound]

by far, my favorite is, "I am going home for the day, here are my sketches; I have a client meeting tomorrow morning and I need a rendering."

[super gnu]

i want it white, completely transparent, and chrome reflective.
come to think of it, any number of comments about white materials not being white enough.